By Juliette Lisa.  

We live in such a contradictory society that it’s hard for any woman to know what to buy, given that
catwalks outwardly promote clothes for skinnies, and high streets simply cater for your average
sized boobs and bum woman. I mean, have you seen all of those tight-fitting body-con dresses or
bra-let tops, amongst other figure-hugging designs? It’s all about promoting and celebrating curves!
Where does this leave us skinnies?

Being a 20 year old, I just long to wear what those around me do, it almost hurts….but I’ve learned
to refrain from this desire, and come to accept what DOES suit me, as there is nothing worse than
whining over something that is so far out of reach(unless a miracle happens)! So girls out there,
don’t beat yourself up about this issue…find what suits you and stick to the same/similar format to
avoid feeling the anxiety of something unflattering on you.

1. Clothes from the past

E-bay has become my best friend in recent times, as I have discovered clothes from other eras suit
me better than trends of today, even though today’s trends ARE in fact recycled versions of past
eras!(IRONIC but true).
Ebay is a great source when you're trying to find well-fitting petite clothing, second-hand or new,
from around the world (more here).

2. Tops: Light, airy and floaty

Batwing Style cape/cardigan.

I stay away from tight fitting clothes because I do not want insults of ‘your
ribcage is on show!’ or something along those lines, what I tend to do is go for light, airy, floaty,
batwing styles for the top half of my body. The 90’s and 80’s are amazing for this look – think
oversized sweaters with lovely embellishments and hand stitching, very vintage and boho! I know
this look won’t suit everyone, but the style and shape is very flattering for skinnies like me! It hides a
multitude of sins...so I guess it’s flattering for all body types!

3. Embellishments can do wonders

Embellishment around bust area

I also find that any kind of embellishment which draws attention to other areas of my body, does
wonders. For example ruffles can hide the fact we have little to no bust, or opting for baby-doll
or tunic-style tops or dresses can have a profound effect of accentuating what we do have, thus
creating the illusion that less is…umm..more!!

In the picture, I wear a cute pink top with embellishment at the bust area, paired with a loose shirt.

4. High waisted skirts

High waisted denim shorts

For my bottom half, I’ve found high waisted skirts, trousers, and shorts, also do a fine job in creating
the illusion of curves!

Even though my thighs don’t touch and my calves lack any sort of fat, high
waisted things emphasise the upper part of my thighs thus detracting away from my calves.

High waisted stuff also gives me the illusion of having a shape, (i.e.: HIPS instead of hip bones!!)

 Just take a look at this picture, in which I wear high waisted denim shorts with a cute belt (more on belts here). It draws the eye to the upper part of my thighs and hips. And that means: less attention to my calves :)
Also notice I wear light denim, and loose fitting shirts on top.

You can create a very similar look with high waisted skirts or trousers.

5. Boots & colorful leggings/jeans

Boots paired with jeans and floaty top

I pair this look with some boots, it again hides the skinny calves thus focusing more on the thighs!

I never ever go bare legged though, I team it all with light coloured leggings or tights.

In this example, I opted for light jeans, and grey boots.
Notice that the boots add some bulk: they 're not skinny, tight fitting boots. These have fur and bangles that add more visual bulk. Try to find clothing and shoes with added embellishments so you add visual curves.

Keep in mind that lighter colors will flatter thin bodies more - as dark colours make you look even thinner!!
Here are tips on finding great jeans for small bottoms.

6. Maxi skirts or capri-style shorts

But what if I don’t feel comfortable wearing shorts or mini-skirts? Well, I know not everyone feels
comfortable in showing off their thin frames, and come summer it can be difficult to mooch around
in jogging bottoms or oversized hoodies. Sometimes instead of short skirts or shorts, go for long,
flowing maxi skirts or dresses, and capri-style shorts instead? It all depends upon what you feel
comfortable in. I guarantee you that it’s far better to stay cool then it is to hide your frame under
layers of hot fabrics.

7. Stay away from shoulder pads

Some other handy tips I have found in my journey of skinny acceptance is that if you want to wear
a blazer or a jacket, steer away from shoulder pads! They will not do you any favours particularly if
you have a straight boyish figure as what this does is simply make you look even thinner. You’d want
to find water-fall styles, and go for materials that feel quite thin to the touch. The structured look
is quite hard to pull off so again, avoid the boxy, shoulder-pad styles and think more flowing, silky
styles and shapes!
If you're interested in dresses, here's a blog post on summer dresses that make you look curvier.

8. Layer up

At my lowest point, (when the bullying of being skinny) got quite hard for me to handle, I used to
layer my clothes up quite a bit…for example, putting 2 pairs of leggings underneath trousers to bulk
my legs out a bit, or wearing 2 bras at once, you know…I’m sure a lot of girls have put themselves
through uncomfortable processes in order to make themselves appear a bit larger. I know how much
it hurts to let go of these defence mechanisms….but trust me, you will one day!
It's much better to find a comfortable, well-fitting bra (here are a dozen designed specifically for small breasts)
and layer up comfortably. Accentuate what you have, and feel good in what you wear :)

9. Play around with styles

It’s all really about knowing your shapes, colours and materials. I know shirts buttoned up DO NOT

flatter me in any way whatsoever, but if they are unbuttoned and treated as a jacket, they look
great! Play around with styles, take photos of yourself and compare them.

Also, keep in mind that sizes are different in every store. In some stores, size 0 is comparable
to a size 4 in other stores. Here's a good overview.

10. Be comfortable in what you wear!

At the end of the day though, it’s all about your perception….. how you feel in something, how
you feel others see you in something, you really need to feel comfortable in whatever you wear.
It doesn’t matter how many times someone says, ‘you look great in that’, if you don’t believe it
yourself, you won’t wear it…and it’ll sit at the back of your wardrobe or you won’t buy it and then
you’ll have missed your chance. Sometimes you should believe other people….and trust them. I’ve
done this and have then grown to like a particular item based on other’s beliefs…..and now they
become my staple pieces!! I guess, it’s a journey for everyone…becoming comfortable with their
looks and styles, and it’s hard being skinny and not being able to find the right sizes, as it leaves
us restricted. But always know, there is HOPE for you and your style will always be developing,
whatever your size!!

Please note: this is all based on personal experience, you may find some of these looks I have not
recommended actually suit you, perhaps you exude the confidence to wear even a bin liner, GO YOU!
Or you have such a beautiful face; it makes no difference what you wear! I guess this article is
written purely with the intention of making underweight or boyish figures feel more ‘womanly’, i.e.:
illusions of curves, so please, feel free to argue with me about any contradictions you find !

Light coloured floaty top and jacket, light jeans and floaty tshirt, waterfall-style jacket (l-r)

You should still work out!

I know its discouraging when you talk about trying a new workout routine, you walk into a gym, or you go through the store check-out with work out videos and you hear "but you don't need to work out, you're skinny!" We all know that being skinny doesn't necessarily mean you are  in-shape!

As a disclaimer, I am not a personal trainer or a nutritionist. Most of this blog is based on my own personal experiences. I'm not even a work-out guru! Ideally I'm involed in mixed martial arts (krav maga and kickboxing) and that is where my workouts mostly come from. But I am going to give you some reasons about why it's important for you to work out, even when you're thin (and I will give you some tips for getting started).

First Reason: Do it for your health!

Guess what, skinny Minnies and Mickies. No matter how slim you are, you still have muscles and joints, and they need to be used! Ever feel winded after going up a flight of stairs or dashing across a parking lot? I have, for sure! It means that your body is not being exercised correctly. It means that your physical endurance needs improvement. No worries, though, this can easily be remedied with a steady and consistent work out routine.

Being naturally thin does not mean that you never have to worry about high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, or other illnesses that are sometimes associated with being overweight. In fact, this can be dangerous because those of us who are on the thinner side may not get these things checked out, thinking that our metabolisms will protect us! Like everyone else, we slender people need to keep a healthy diet combined with physical and mental exercises to keep both body and mind strong and sharp.

Worried about bulking up too much? Don't be. It's a myth that working out will turn you into Arnold Schwarzenegger! You will tone up, though. It's a great way to gain weight, actually, because firm muscle weighs more than fat. Just remember to increase your calorie intake so you can nourish those muscles and maintain a healthy weight!

Second Reason: Do it for your mind!

Working out is a great way to release endorphins in your brain, contributing to a better mood. When you're down, you may not feel like hitting the gym, but releasing that negative energy through physical activity will really help! It's a great stress release and a mood booster!

I participate in a very rigorous one-hour kickboxing workout about twice a week. It is HARD. This workout really pushes me to my limits, even when I do feel in shape. At least once a session, I want to give up and sit down. But I don't. Why? Because it is so much more rewarding to push through and then realize that you can make it, even when you don't want to. This is an important lesson that you can carry with you in any facet of your life! Giving up is easy, but pressing on even when you're tired and conquering that thing that almost defeats you is so much more fulfilling in the end! Your workout doesn't always have to be difficult but do challenge yourself sometimes!

Of course, this does not mean that you shouldn't know and respect your limits. Never work out to the point where you feel unwell or overheated. Take precautions, drink lots of water, and stop if you have to. If you feel faint or if you start to see white sports in your vision, stop what you are doing immediately and take a break! There is a difference between pressing on when things get challenging and hurting yourself by trying to do something way outside your limits! Overworking your body is just as harmful as under working it.

Third Reason: Do it to be an example!

People are going to be more likely to work out if they see their friends and loved ones exercising and enjoying it. Working out is good for everyone, big or small!

How To Get Started

• Determine what your workout style is. Do you want to work out in a group? In a gym with a partner? At home by yourself? Everyone is different. I prefer a group setting with involvement, and I want my workout to include self-defense, so martial arts was perfect for me. Also, working with people who are at more advanced levels that I am pushes me to work harder, as opposed to intimating me. On the other hand, I know people who would never be comfortable working out in a group and prefer to follow work out videos at home. Choose what's best for you!
• Make time. You may not have the time or even the desire to workout every day. Sometimes I only get in 2 one-hour workouts a week, though I try for 3-4. Frequency depends a good deal on what you want to get out of your workout, but the most I've heard recommended is at least 4 3o minute sessions a week. It is also recommended that you take at least 1 full day off from working out a week.
• Determine your health level. If you are very underweight and are feeling weak or overly tired, you may need to work on weight gain before you start a workout routine. Don't put too much stress on your body! Also consider a discussion with your doctor if you have conditions like asthma or anemia, so you can make sure you stay safe when you get started. And, no matter your health and fitness level, drink lots of water!!
• Don't let anyone get you down. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't need to work out. Do it because it's good for you, not because you should have to justify yourself to others! If anyone is truly concerned (some eating disorders may include obsessive, drawn-out, daily workouts, and you know that being thin already makes you a target for the anorexia label), don't get offended. Just calmly explain why exercise is important for your over-all health and well being! You only get one body so take good care of it. :)

More:
How petite celebrities gain weight
Can naturally thin people eat whatever they want?
Why am I thin?

Sometimes, in the name of real method acting, an actress might have to completely and radically overhaul their appearance so that the performance they give is as believable as possible. Over the last few years, some of the more petite actresses have had to do so. How did they do it, and more pertinently are their regimes something we can follow to help us gain weight?

Celebrity weight gain

When the film "My Week With Marilyn" was released last year, people were amazed by the transformation that lead actress Michelle Williams had gone through in order to look like screen icon Marilyn Monroe. Williams, who is naturally very slim and usually sports an uber cute pixie crop gained enough weight to take her to a size fourteen. When asked how she’d done it she simply replied “I wasn’t watching what I ate, put it that way”. Then, not content with doing it once, Williams did it again on a junk food diet, to play opposite Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine, this time gaining more than fifteen pounds (and losing it all again afterward).

Hillary Swank

But weight gain is not as easy for everyone. Perhaps most interestingly, Hillary Swank, when researching her role in Million Dollar Baby gave a detailed account of what she had to do to gain weight in order to give a more convincing performance. She said that in order to gain an extra nineteen pounds, that she ate every ninety minutes and that her diet included as much as two hundred and ten grams of protein every single day. Alongside this, she felt she needed to sleep more, ultimately trying to get nine hours a night. If she woke up during this time, she would force herself to drink a protein shake, because she was getting the feeling that her body needed it and couldn’t go for too long without food.

This can’t be good, right?

Well, in a word, no. Renee Zellweger’s Doctors had it about right when they advised her to be careful in the way she gained weight. Firstly, gaining so much weight in a short space of time can be very dangerous and put enormous pressure on the body’s organs to try and cope with the extra onslaught of calories. Secondly, the foods that these actresses ate in order to try and bulk up was not only highly calorific but also very high in fat, salt and sugar which adds to the dangers of possibly storing up trouble for future years, even if the weight is only going on temporarily in order to give believability to a role.

How do you gain weight properly?

To achieve sensible weight gain takes time, patience and, surprisingly, doesn’t include any junk food - well, apart from in moderation as part of an all round balanced eating plan. The key to making long lasting, yet gradual changes lies in planning out a nutritious eating regime that takes into account not only an increase in calories, but making sure optimum health is maintained. It is said that in order to safely

gain between one and three pounds per week, an extra five hundred calories a day would need to be consumed. It sounds like an awful lot, especially if you can find huge platefuls of food very “over-facing” or plain unpalatable. Here are a few ideas:

Little and often: It’s a good move generally, if nothing else to keep blood sugars stable, but eat three, sensibly portioned meals during the day. These meals should ideally have a portion of high quality protein, some complex carbohydrate, some good fats and fruit or vegetables to accompany.

For instance (as a guideline only):

Breakfast: Omelette made with one or two eggs, cooked in olive oil. Serve this with one or two slices of wholegrain toast, buttered. Accompany with a glass of fruit juice.

Lunch: Chicken breast cooked and sliced. Serve this in a sandwich made with a bread of your choice, buttered. Include lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise. Fruit for dessert. Alternatively, serve the chicken with a baked potato and stir fried vegetables.

Dinner: A bowl of stew perhaps made with lean beef and root vegetables. This could be served with some plain rice or couscous. Perhaps finish with a calcium rich dessert such as full fat yogurt or homemade custard.

Snacks: It’s also a good idea to plan a couple of snacks for during the day too. The occasional bag of chips or cookies is totally fine as part of a good eating plan, but it’s also good to try and incorporate good quality nibbles too. Think about trail mix, a bag of nuts like almonds, cashews or walnuts (all for preference should be unsalted), dried fruit mixes or even things like milkshakes, protein shakes or hot chocolate made with a portion of full fat milk for calcium and protein. All these will offer good nutritional value to you as well as providing useful and useable calories.

The advice is, if you’re going to try and gain weight, do it sensibly and don’t go the crazy Hollywood way. You want to eat healthy and still exercise well. Look after your body and it will look after you.

I think it's time we stop putting each other down, women!
Ladies and girls of all body types and sizes: let's promise to never hurt any other woman by criticizing her body.

Beauty doesn't fit a certain size or mold.

Yes, I'm Skinny. No, I'm Not Anorexic.

More 'naturally skinny' blog posts:

Keira Knightley defends her naturally thin frame
Five myths about 'thin privilege.'
Dear Cherie (and every small breasted woman out there)

The other day, I received a desperate message from a girl who was very nervous about going to a family wedding. She "hates her skinny legs," avoids skirts "like the plague," and feels extremely insecure about her thin appearance. So, what are some good ways to dress up without feeling too insecure? Here's the advice I gave her, I figured it might help out more women!

What to wear to a wear to a wedding: be confident!

You want to make sure you're wearing appropriate clothes, but you also want to feel beautiful and confident at the same time.
So, first of all - whatever you choose to wear, make sure it makes you feel good! If you feel good, you'll look good!

Your BEST accessory is confidence.

Avoid white, go for happy colors

You want to avoid wearing white - not because it doesn't look good, but because you never want to 'compete' with the bride :)
Since this is a joyful event, you can definitely wear happy colors. And that's a good thing, because patterns look great on skinny people!
Patterns can give you a fuller appearance. This dress with blocks in pink, grey and white is a perfect example.

Here are some examples I think will look great on you:

Ann Taylor Long Sleeve Dress

This Ann Taylor dress has long sleeves, so you don't have to feel insecure about bony shoulders/arms, it has a flowy fabric, and a very bold and bright color. I love how it flows together at the waist line, putting an accent on your waist (not on your chest or hips).

The model is wearing a black pantyhose/leggings underneath, which works perfect - with boots or pumps!

I know this dress might be a bit on the pricy side, but this is just an example - to give you some ideas.

Blue dress, black leggings and boots

In the picture on the right, there's a similar concept: a colorful dress with black leggings and high heel boots. This one's a bit more casual, but could still work great for a wedding! The dress is longer at the bottom (right at the knee) and flows a bit more. If you're looking for a bit more coverage, or something that's a bit warmer, this could be ideal. The sleeves are shorter, but are also flowy.

Tip: If you have a very thin waist, it might be a good idea to wear a thin belt instead of a big bulky one. When you have a delicate frame, thin accessories usually look better than bulky ones.

Of course, the color of the dress doesn't have to be blue, it could be any other color you'd like (both examples I found happened to be blue, and I happend to really LOVE that color haha!)

If the wedding is a bit more casual, and it happens to be during winter time, these following styles might work too.
You can either get an oversized sweater/top, or a mini dress, put it over black leggings, and wear it with boots or pumps.
Notice how the legs are covered by a black legging and boots (giving your thin legs more 'layers'), and your figure still comes out nicely.
This is a great look for thin women!

Mini dress, leggings and boots!

Short gray dress with boots

Another great example I found online (you know me, once I'm researching a topic, I find A TON of stuff!)
Look at this girl, yeah I know this is a professional pic and she's super pretty and all, but her skinny legs look great in this dress/boots combo!

Colorful Ruffles Top (Don't Mind The Jeans)

Wear pants and a cute (ruffled) top

Another option is to not wear a dress, but pants. You'll want to find 'professional' or dressy pants (any color will do). When it's cold, wear boots over skinny jeans or jeggings, and when it's warmer wear ballet flats. Keep the top colorful, flowy and happy! Tops with ruffles work great on thin frames. And besides, doesn't this top (picture on the right) make you want to dance the night away?

You're going to rock this wedding! Enjoy, and let me know if you come across any other interesting fashion finds :)

Celebrities do it all the time: belt knot!

This is a problem I come across too often: I find a cute belt that works great with a new outfit, but it's way too long!
Normally, I suck it up and just don't buy the belt. But, little did I know, that there are a lot of creative solutions to long belts!
In fact, the solutions I came across make me want to get a belt that's too long on purpose, so I can try them out!

How to knot a belt

The simplest solution for a belt that's too long (besides from cutting the end of), is to tie it in a knot.
Apparently, this is something celebrities have been doing for a while, I had just never heard of the concept! Knot cool. ;)
So, if you're a belt-knot virgin like me, let me quickly fill you in. Usually, belt knots are done with one long belt that's not too thick. You wear the belt just like usual, then loop the end of the belt around the loop, and put a knot in it. There are different types of belt knots, from cute and simple, to creative, to overly complicated (only for expert-belt-knotters).
Here are a few options I found:

Simple Belt Knot

This is the easiest option (read: belt-knotting for beginners).
Simply wear your belt as usual, then take the part that's too long, and loop it under, then over, and then through the belt you're wearing.
It looks best if the end of the belt is underneath the loop (so the knot stays fairly flat),
and if the end of the belt points downwards. Just practice a few times, and soon you'll be a belt knotting expert, ready to move to the next level!

Double Belt Knot

Double Belt Knot

Once you have the single belt knot down (read: you can knot your belt in your sleep), you're probably ready for the next level....drumrolll.... the double belt knot.
As you can see in this picture from FaSHionRoLLa (read the article, it has a bunch of pictures and tips), the double belt knot starts the same as the single belt knot.
After you follow the steps for the single belt knot, you just loop it one extra time, and then pull the tip through the two loops. I know it sounds too simple, but it's actually pretty doable.
As you can see in the picture, knotting a belt with two colors can add some very cool effects!

Advanced Belt Knots

Advanced Belt Knotting!

And then there's belt knotting for experts. There's all sorts of crazy stuff going on at this level: inside knots, figure eight knots, arsy-versy knots, and what knot!! ;) Sorry, I'm having a little too much fun with the wording in this blog post. It's just asking for it ;) Anyway, there are many, many different types of belt knots you can try out once you have the basics down.
Here are two cool blog posts that will help all you advanced belt knotters:
14 Artistic Ways To Knot Your Belt
8 New Ways To Wear a Belt

Have fun knotting your belts, and let me know if you have any tips!

Keira in this month's Allure magazine

Over the years, Keira has had to defend her thin body frame numerous times, always putting down rumors about being 'anorexic.'
I personally know what it's like for people to question your body image. I've dealt with a lot of teasing in high school. And I exactly remember where I stood and what I was doing when my dad looked me in the eyes and asked me "Are you sure you're eating enough? There is nothing you need to tell me?" I was 14 years old, and it crushed my body image.

I'm not anorexic

But I don't know what it's like when magazines write about your body, and analyze it like it's a piece of meat going up for auction. I don't know what it's like when newspapers show pictures of your belly somehow proving you're not eating enough, or when your body is being altered in movie posters because your breasts aren't big enough to sell the movie.
And that's exactly what Keira has had to deal with.

"The anorexic stuff — It's always going to have an impact, so I think it did hit pretty hard," Keira Knightley told Allure magazine in the December issue. "Because you go, oh, maybe that's right! I knew I wasn't anorexic, but maybe my body is somehow not right."

I think all women, no matter what body size or shape, go through a phase of uncertainty. Comparing yourself to other women with other shapes and sizes. Not knowing why your body is shaped the way it is.

Yes, some women are naturally thin. And no, it's not ok to call us anorexic!

I'm so glad to have Keira Knightley as a role model for all us naturally thin girls. Sometimes I just want to write her a letter and thank her!
Did you know that Keira actually sued Daily Mail for saying she had anorexia? She won nearly $6,000. And she won the truth.
She won the right to stand up for yourself. She showed the world that YES, some women are naturally thin. And NO, it's not ok to call them anorexic!

Also read:
Beautiful Celebrities With Small Breasts
Confessions of a Toothpick Girl
Interview With Model Yulia Drummond of VodaSwim

1. Wear jewelry that looks like you

Pretty Thin Anklet

When it comes to jewelry, it's usually best to keep accessories in proportion to your frame. Women who are fuller, can generally wear bulkier jewelry. If you're thin, it's best to wear jewelry that kind of looks like you: small, thin, flowing, delicate. Take a look at this super cute anklet, for example. Its delicate thin shape will flow with the shape of your ankle, complimenting your figure instead of overwhelming it.
So, those those trendy colorful, bulky big bead necklaces? You probably want to avoid wearing them because they could overhelm your small frame.
A rule of thumb: when you're thin, stay away from bulky overpowering pieces of jewelry. The jewelry shouldn't wear you!

2. Wear jewelry in 3 spots max

Since it's so easy to wear 'too much' for your thin frame,keep in mind this general rule of thumb:  wear jewelry in 3 different spots max. It will keep you from 'overdoing' it. So, these 3 pieces could consist of: two earrings and one bracelet, or one necklace, one watch, and a ring, for example.
Also keep in mind that even your glasses or your hair could be seen as jewelry or accessories. If you have very prominent bulky curly hair, you probably don't want to add too many accessories, same goes for women who wear very bright and/or shiny glasses.
When you have a small frame, it's best to limit the amount of jewelry and accessories because it's easy to 'overdo' jewelry.

3. Layer your jewelry

layer necklace thin women

Agh, we can't get out of this one: layers! Yes, you probably know layered clothing compliments a thin women's frame - but did you know 'layered' jewelry can have the same effect?
Wearing several (narrow) bracelets can really compliment thin wrists. I know it can be hard to find bangles that fit well, but you can also give thin leather wrist bands a try. Wearing layered (thin) necklaces can be a great feminine look on thin women. As long as the jewelry doesn't distract too much, and it's layered in the right amount so it flows with your body and doesn't overwhelm you, layers can look wonderful! It's pretty tricky, because it's very easy to go wrong with this one. So if you're not sure, just stick to one simple piece instead of layers.

That's what I do too: keeping it simple! Writing this blog post has inspired me to experiment a bit more with jewelry though!

Do you have any more jewelry tips? Leave a comment!

Also read:
Women's watches for thin wrists
Perfect jeans for small butts
Great bras for small breasts

1.  Clothing is made for thin women. Thin women shop and find things immediately that will fit.

False.  In America, a missus size "small" will fit the average size 6-8 woman. For those of us who fall into the size 0-4 range, this is simply too big, and I am finding that many department stores are eliminating "extra-smalls" from their racks altogether. Finding well-fitting jeans is a nightmare, and so are extra small well-fitting tops. Even when extra-smalls are found, they usually measure 32"-33.5" around the bust, leaving a lot of extra room for those of us who wear 28 or 30 band sizes! (Oh, and try finding a size 28A or 30A bra in a department store that isn't made for little girls!)

2. Thin women can eat what they want. And they're never questioned by doctors about their weight.

False.  If you're an extrasmall.me regular, I'm sure you've heard your doctor get all concerned over your low BMI and immediately start talking to you about your perceived lack of eating habits. I am fortunate enough to have a doctor that recognizes that I am a naturally small woman, but I have heard horror stories from thin women women who were harassed and even guilted by their doctors for being thin, especially when a pregnancy was involved.
Naturally thin women might not gain weight when they eat a lot, but that doesn't justify eating unhealthily. We can still get high cholesterol, heart problems, and any other problem linked to unhealthy eating - our bodies just won't show the warning signs on the outside.

3. Thin women don't have people commenting on their figure or eating habits.

False. I believe many of us can attest to comments we've received from friends/waitstaff/strangers in a restaurant setting. "That's all you're eating? No wonder you stay so skinny!" or "You're ordering a salad? Please. You need a steak, with two desserts afterwards." I read a story from a thin girl who heard two women ridiculing her at a bar after she only ordered a diet coke. (She was the designated driver).

4. Thin women always feel pretty.

False. The thing that really bugs me about the idea of "thin privilege"  is the idea that all thin women fit into the weird high-fashion standard of beauty. Many of us do not. We all have imperfections. Being thin as a teenager did not prevent me from having terrible acne. Being a thin woman doesn't mean I never have bad hair days, bad skin days, bad fashion days. Sometimes I feel no amount of concealer in the world will hide the dark circles under my eyes. Being thin does not mean we don't have a feeling of inadequacy, and it doesn't mean we never see a beautiful woman and think "gee, I wish I looked like her".

5. Thin women are high-maintenance, self-centered, obsessed with their looks, and mean.

False!  These attributes are in no way correlated with size. I was on a pretty well known facebook page that calls for a wider diversity in modeling and the use of only healthy models. In one discussion, a woman said that because she was teased by a thin girl about her weight when she was growing up, she now sees all thin women as "mean girls".  I feel this is very unfortunate, and I feel that labels are unfair. You can never paint any group of people with a broad brush, nor should you let one experience dictate how you feel about others. Just as anyone can be an unpleasant person, anyone can be a kind and gernerous person.

Furthermore, I think while many of us may have a body-image issue or two, we are not always "obsessed with our looks". I don't know about the rest of you, but I do not want to spend my entire day at the gym! I have things to do! My life is too full to be counting every calorie just so I can turn it around and burn it off on the elliptical. I'm sure there are women who do live that way, but I can't imagine it's enjoyable. An just as I said in #4, none of us roll out of bed every day looking perfect! And it's ok to be ok with that!!

How do you feel about the "thin privilege" idea? Have you experienced any of the above situations or attitudes from others?

Being obsessed with looks: big vs thin

Women in privileged cultures have the luxury of being obsessed with how we look. Every time I’m in the checkout line at the grocery store, I see at least a dozen magazines telling women that they have the secret solution to becoming a thin woman. Dropping the pounds, and therefore, the dress sizes has become an obsessive topic for women and the media that caters to them. We have become a generation of women defined by the number on the tag of their dress. This definition affects some women more than others; if you’re into that 6-12 size range, you’re pretty much golden. Those of us on the other ends of that spectrum will usually end up feeling defined by our weight. (I’m talking U.S. sizes here. If you’re in Europe, Asia, or Australia, your sizes will actually run smaller than American sizes.) What these magazines don’t tell you is that being a thin woman comes with its own set of issues.

When losing 7 pounds is not a good thing

I have always been a small person. I was a small baby. I was a relatively small child (though I think I may have been the tallest girl in my class in fourth grade). I was a small teenager, and after marrying and then starting to work a physically demanding job, I became a smaller adult. I was wearing a size 3 at college graduation; I found myself barely fitting into a size 0 at the age of 22. The simple loss of seven pounds on a normal person is usually celebrated, though not always noticeable. It was very noticeable on me. And people noticed. I had always been uncomfortable in my own skin; I had bad acne into my early 20s, chipmunk cheeks, and was what some people refer to as “boy-shaped”. With the weight-drop came a suddenly definable waist and a more womanly face, but now I was very aware of the fact that people were looking at me a lot, and not always nicely. People suddenly became comfortable with making comments as well.

“Get that girl a cheeseburger!” One coworker loudly announced on a day when I dared to wear shorts to work.

“My goodness, you are so small! Do you eat?” A middle-aged woman asked upon meeting me for the first time in a college course.

“You really should buy an extra box of paczkis; you look like you could really use the fattening up,” said the salesguy at the grocery store on Fat Tuesday this past year. (I left with one box of delicious pastries, and one is quite enough!)

At first I felt ashamed of myself; after all, people thought there was something wrong with me. I didn’t feel pretty or feminine and I could not for the life of me understand why women so desperately wanted to be thin. Everyone made my weight their business. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want that.

How the Japanese Kimono grew my self esteem

Japanese Kimono, beautiful on naturally thin women!

My confidence perked up when I started collecting Japanese kimono. The silhouette the kimono created is so different from what western clothes do for the body. The kimono creates a sleek, cylindrical shape. An hourglass figure is not an ideal body type for wearing the kimono; women who have one usually have to do a lot of padding and binding to get the correct shape. I can skip this step entirely when donning my kimono; having very small curves; I have an ideal body type for kimono. The kimono was perfect for me because its purpose isn’t highlighting décolletage (which on me is somewhere between very little and non-existent) or long, shapely legs (my legs are long in proportion to my height, but they’re still short by beauty standards). The kimono highlights the neck and the wrists; it creates an air of mystery. The kimono isn’t about the wearer’s body because the kimono, along with the obi that is worn with it, is a work of art. The wearer enhances the kimono, not the other way around, like western-style clothes. A woman doesn’t have to have a perfect body to pull off wearing kimono; anyone can do it and that’s why I love it!

Getting offended is making a choice

My comfort level in my own skin has gone up enough that I actually bought a bikini this year; I used to be so afraid of being judged that I haven’t even worn a bathing suit in the past three years. I’ve grown up mentally in the past few years. It doesn’t (or at least it shouldn’t) matter what others think of me. I may not feel like I have much control over my looks, but I do have control over the kind of person I am. Getting offended is making a choice, after all. Yes, it still gets me riled up when people say things like “real women have curves” or “only dogs go for bones”. And while I usually interject when these statements are made to let the person know that these statements are false and hurtful, I can choose whether or not they get to me.  I try not to let them get to me. I may not have Marilyn Monroe curves, but I am a real woman and a real person. I am not defined by the number on the scale or the number on the tag of my jeans. I want to be defined by my character. One doesn’t need Marilyn Monroe curves to have good character, just like one doesn’t have to be supermodel thin to be beautiful.

Find what makes you feel good

Another picture of me in a Japanese Kimono!

Do you have a passion or hobby that builds your self-esteem? What is it?