You Say I’m Skinny – I Say I’m Me!


By Sarah Kent
I am a 31 year old mother of two, my height is 5.5” I don’t run around like a headless chicken, I eat healthy and well, so why am I 7 ½ stone? (105lb, 48kg) Now I don’t want to ask this question, but with skinny celebrity’s, the rights and wrongs of diets in the front of the media spot light - I find myself not only answerable to me, but the rest of the people I come across on a day to day basis.

I haven’t always been this weight, I used to be a “healthy” 9 stone, but like Victoria Beckham I lost weight after the birth of my first child ten years ago. Now you could put this down to stress, responsibility, many reasons - but until this day my weight has not fluctuated, even at the most stressful time in my life when I lost my dad to cancer my weight did not plummet.

I don’t really exercise other than run around after the kids; I eat what I want, sometimes skip breakfast but who doesn’t when you have screaming kids to get to school.I can almost here your screams “this girl should see herself as lucky” believe me - it really isn’t that way.

I strongly believe that if you are slightly over weight or to the extreme of enormously, people do not tend to say anything to you to your face. However, in my experience, being skinny seems to give people the right to make harsh comments: “you must be ill?" I personally think they are waiting for me to crack and to admit: ”yes you are right, I do have an eating disorder.” I am frequently asked by the same people if "I’ve been to the doctors?” Or am I trying to "look like a celebrity?"

I have even been told I look emaciated, more than once. I am then expected to carry on with my pleasant day without giving it a second thought. What gives people the right to be so cruel - without thinking that it could just be the fact that even though I am slim like many other women, I am healthy. What also allows people the right to make me stand at my wardrobe and question how I will look in perfectly fine clothes?

Who do I hold responsible? The like’s of Victoria Beckham, Kera knightly, Catwalk models? Or is it the media -  for printing pictures with shocking headlines daily, on how we should or should be? I really feel for Victoria Beckham, could it in fact be that she is just thin? Would so many young girls suffer with eating disorders if the media didn’t go highlight the celeb’s so much? Yes there are celebrities and models who suffer from some sort of eating disorder; over the years pictures of Nichole Ritchie clearly show the difference between someone who does have problems against someone who doesn’t. It is not the models faults for being so thin, it is the people in the model industry, they should have been made to eat a balanced diet before going on the catwalk. I could be wrong but I feel if there is blame it is not with the models they are clearly being used as a scapegoat. Do you ever see a picture of model agencies getting a battering for making the girls thin or is it the thin model we see?

There is a very thin line between healthy skinny and unhealthy skinny; I am happy with who I am, I will even take the backlash; I just hope that the media isn’t in fact creating eating disorders rather than preventing them.

Sarah also made a popular YouTube video on this subject. Click here to watch it. Thanks so much for sharing your story on our website, Sarah!
If you would like to share your story too, or to read stories from other girls,
click here.

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  1. mark
    Posted June 1, 2008 at 5:34 pm | Permalink

    im a 30 year old bloke and i look like a school boy im 5-5 tall and i wiegh under 9 stone not matter what i do i cannot put on any weight, i hate the way i look ive been passed over for promotion so many time i now find it hard ito stick at a job i know this is because of my size because the person they promoted couldnt do the job! i hate me, its fine for women to be small and thin if thats how they wana look but not men, i dont feel masculine. and its horrible when most 12 year olds are taller than you are. tell me this if you had to choose between me, an average guy or a tallish fat guy in which order would you choose them. bet im last

  2. mist
    Posted June 1, 2008 at 9:39 pm | Permalink

    personally, I go for personality rathe rthan looks, probably 60% personality 40% looks. And as far as i know most girls (many of the ones i know) think skinny guys are cute – they don’t really like all muscles and things like that and neither do i – its just fine , id rather choose scrawny over the ‘buff’ look lol XD and the thing on height – i understand for guys it must be hard to be a bit shorten that other guys, like girls don’t want to be overy tall, but don’t dwell too much over it – i usually reckon guys who are shorter and on the thinner side look younger than their taller/more masculine counterparts :P i’m being honest too – not just for the sake to make you feel happier :D
    Well its a though world – everything is based on your outer coat – you don’t LOOK good for this and that – you’re getting picked on/rejected/laughed at…….. well, ive been through that so many times, but now I couldn’t care less of what other ppl think. if they stare or call me anorexic etc, ill just keep walking, hold my head high, and SMILE :D over the FACT That I’m PROUD over the body mother nature gave me – and that it’s NATURAL for me to be like this, plus whatever they say is probably most likely to be because of jealousy!! And yea – i LOVE food :D

  3. kim
    Posted August 9, 2008 at 2:35 am | Permalink

    I completely understand! I am a super healthy woman, I eat a raw vegan diet and love to exercise. I find if I don’t get out in the fresh air and work my body I feel sluggish and tired. I truly am passionate about nutrition and health! So why does it matter that I am underweight? People need to get over these awful things the media has put in their head about thin women. I like my body for one thing, I feed it well and get a lot of exercise. I just wish people would have more consideration towards my feelings. Glad you can relate.

  4. Posted October 24, 2008 at 11:56 pm | Permalink

    I am a skinny man. It’s effecting my self esteem. I hear so many digs from people around me, people that obviously think its ok to comment. I have a girlfriend who I love to bits, and I love her for not just seeing a skinny man, but I do feel that she doesn’t feel protected around me, when we out hitting the town. This really does effect my self esteem. I feel people view me as being weak. I have never been in a fight, and I don’t know if I am actually weak. I have had dreams where I am about to punch somebody, but I can’t move my fist. I wonder if I am strong enough to protect my loved ones. I hear people talking about me and how I look. No matter what anybody says, I do truely think its harder for a man to be skinny. We have it the worst. Why do bigger people think its ok to make comments? It tears me up inside.Sometimes I feel like im breaking down, but I can’t, because I need to act like a man.I haven’t even told my partner all this. I think sometimes, why does she want to be with me, when she can be with somebody much hunkier? I know I have a good personality, and i am very giving, but i think i am like this because I dont want people to verbally attack me, so by being so nice, it will reduce the chances of being attacked verbally. Am I weak. Mentally and physically. I rarely take off my top etc in public. I don’t go swimming. I can’t take the comments any more. The looks.

  5. Posted March 18, 2009 at 2:14 am | Permalink

    Well, I wouldn’t worry about being too weak; for if you ever encounter a truly dangerous situation, where someone is threatening to harm your loved ones, you would protect them. Concerns about your strength or your size will be the last things you think about when the adrenaline flows in your veins, and you’re operating solely under the auspices of the fight or flight response. You may not think you would be strong enough. But when we perceive real and immediate danger, our conscious mind takes a back seat, and our lower-level, survival instincts take over. This happened to me once when I was mugged. It was like I was watching a movie because my body, without prompting from me, knew what to do. And it did it without hesitation. I never saw myself run so fast or scream so loudly. The guy cornered me and without giving it a thought, I barreled right past him. When the body kicks into survival mode, all your worries disappear, and you’ll do what it takes to remove the danger, or you’ll die trying. There’s no doubt about it. You sound like a gentle man by nature. But you would act when it’s really necessary to protect your ladies regardless of how skinny you think you are.

    Take care,
    Tom Hesley

  6. Posted March 18, 2009 at 2:36 am | Permalink

    This whole idea of separating people into personalities and bodies puzzles me. People often do this, especially when they believe that their bodies are unattractive. To make up for that, they offer their personality as the “better” part of themselves that people should like.

    But personality and body are one in the same. They’re intimately connected and so, affect one another so profoundly that in my view, it makes no sense to talk about them as separate things. Why not? Well, consider the following questions:
    From where does the personality come? From the brain, right? Maybe. But the body also contributes to it.
    And where is the brain located? In the body, right? Right. It’s not outside the body after all.
    Does not the brain draw energy from the same blood sources as does the rest of the body? Yes.
    Is not the brain just as susceptible to aging and other physical ailments as the rest of the body? Yes.
    Is not the brain the same sort of living tissue as say the legs or the arms? Yes.
    If a person’s mind is goofed up, their otherwise healthy body will soon deteriorate to match. Probably.
    So the state of the body, healthy or not, is largely determined by the sorts of thinking that goes on in the brain.
    Also, the degree of health we find in the brain is largely determined by how the rest of the body is doing. One affects the other and the other affects the one.
    It’s unlikely therefore that if a person has an unhealthy body, that they’d have a healthy brain, and vice versa.
    So why is the operation of a person’s brain (which determines their personality) a better measure of their overall health and attractiveness than their body? In my opinion, it’s not.
    Again, you can’t meaningfully dissect a person into a body and a brain and then favor one over the other because each one separately does not form a complete or whole human being.

    Tom Hesley

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