Dear Cherie (and every small breasted woman out there)

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This is a response to a comment by a woman named 'Cherie' who questioned whether men would ever like her small breasts, which she calls her "ever-hated source of shame, the reason I feel like a subwoman, which questions my very point of existence."

I know a lot of phrases such as ‘real women have curves’ are thrown around these days — but even without the so-called ‘curves,’ you ARE a real woman. You should never feel like less of a woman because some showergel brand decided that was going to be their cool new slogan.

Your breasts are not ‘physical defects’ or ‘mistakes’ by mother nature. And it’s a shame you’re comparing your perfect breasts to wonky teeth.
You're not broken. You're not ugly. You don't have to hide anything. And you have nothing to be ashamed of.

You should stop listening to that little voice in your head who tells you that you’re not enough.

Stop watching the stupid Victoria’s Secret commercials, stop reading the so-called ‘beauty’ magazines, and just look at yourself.
Take off your clothes, stand in front of a mirror, and just look at yourself — your body, your real you.

You are the only person you’ll ever truly have.
Your body is the most beautiful instrument you will ever own.
Every part of it, every function, ever flaw – it’s YOU.

I KNOW for a fact, that if YOU’d see how beautiful you really are, you will allow others to do the same.
Because right now – you are blocking others from loving you.
If you don’t love who you are – how are you expecting others to do so?

:)

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7 Comments

  1. Posted April 9, 2012 at 9:51 pm | Permalink

    Trust me, there are a lot of guy who like small breasts. Size isn’t everything.

  2. Posted April 10, 2012 at 10:01 am | Permalink

    Hello again, dear Pelpina!

    Honestly, I didn’t expect a whole separate post addressed to me. In fact, I was afraid that my comment would sound somehow offensive. After all, it’s written speech, many nuances – intonation, expression – become lost.

    Thank you ever, ever so much for being so compassionate! Yes, self-love is the key, and I truly envy those who are capable of this. I can admit that my distorted body image (or objectivity?) has several times very nearly cost me my marriage. My German husband says that I speak of myself just the way a Nazi would speak of a Jew. But I just CAN’T help it! Of course I’ll be beautiful in his eyes, because he loves me. Hardly an objective point of view. But I want truth, not sweet lies! At least I’ve made him promise that, should he dislike anything about my appearance, he’ll tell me immediately, in no uncertain terms. Oh well, here I go round two, deeper and deeper in my problems.

    As for self-love – I’ve found an article recently which presents a non-orthodox approach to this issue. Basically, yes, you can’t just sit down and love yourself just for nothing, as well as you can’t build a house beginning with a roof. So in order to really be proud of yourself you could make an achievement, of any kind, be it a nice picture, something hand-made, a new record at a gym. I hope this concept will help someone.

    And thank you very much again!

    Regards from Russia,

    C.

  3. Posted April 10, 2012 at 10:12 am | Permalink

    Dear Cherie,
    I’m so glad you read my response. I read all the comments on this website, but yours stood out to me – and I had to write a separate post. Not only to help you, but I believe it could also help other women.

    You sound like a very intelligent woman, realizing that this is a much deeper rooted problem. I truly hope you can someday look in the mirror and love what you see.
    Try to do everything you can to achieve this goal. Search within yourself, look in your past, or talk to someone about it. Because this is truly not worth losing your marriage over.

    The article with a non-orthodox approach to self-love sounds very interesting! I’ve never heard of this concept, but it definitely makes sense.

    Sometimes it helps just starting with something small. What is it that you DO like about yourself? Just start with one thing, and build on it.
    You don’t have to fall in love with yourself immediately, but you can start with respect.
    And then maybe you can start liking some things about yourself.
    And after that, perhaps someday you’ll be able to laugh about yourself. :)

  4. Posted April 11, 2012 at 7:41 am | Permalink

    There are men who like small breasts. My husband does. I know plenty of guys who say that “anything more than a handful is a waste!”

    I’m going to say this because I had a similar struggle for a long time (I wear a 32A): you can’t let single body part define you, especially not one that is so prone to change with things like motherhood or age. Focusing on hating one bady part is unhealthy and damaging. Instead, focus on parts you like and play those up. (I like my eyes and my neck so I wear clothing and makeup that shows off those things, and I get lots of compliments.) Besides, a single body part doesn’t determine femininity. Femininity is encompassed by many traits and attributes, and its definition is ever-changing. Truthfully, a real man who loves you isn’t going to love you for your breats; he’s going to love you for you and for your brain as well as your body. If small breasts is a deal-breaker for a man, than he’s not a man worth being with.

    Besides, Victoria’s Secret models? If you look at candid pictures of them, most of them are pretty small up top. That perfect cleavage in the catalogues requires a lot of bra-stuffing and photoshop. There are probably only one or two VS models that are naturally bigger than a B cup.

  5. Lisa
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 6:37 am | Permalink

    I understand Cherie perfectly. I am middle-aged, and have no kids. My friends who were younger than me developed before I did. Between my short stature and my indented breasts, I also feel like I’ve never grown up. The term “woman” connotates a tall, busty, curvy female, (no) thanks to the ENJOLI commercial of the 1970s!

    But I do agree with Katrina about playing up other body parts. Still, I sometimes wish I could remove my booty flesh and donate some of it to my chest. LOL!

  6. meme
    Posted April 24, 2012 at 12:55 am | Permalink

    My husband loves my body and my small breasts. He doesn’t find big breasts attractive. It’s a matter of taste that’s all, and there’s so many more guys out there who prefer A cups over D cups!

  7. Terria
    Posted May 3, 2012 at 11:12 am | Permalink

    It’s totally a matter of personal preference. You don’t have to have breasts bigger than your head to have ‘curves,’ despite what the media might tell you. Mine have fluctuated between an A and a B my whole, life, and it’s never stopped men from finding me attractive. It’s something that some men love- not a defect they have to see past.

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